1. Adverbs
Do not overuse adverbs. You'll find that most adverbs can be modified into adjective clauses or phrases with ease. In fact, I find myself doing this ALL THE TIME. In my second sentence, for example, I could have written: You'll find that most adverbs can easily be modified... However, I didn't, because adverbs, while they can be useful, tend to be less effective than adjectives. Something about modifying a verb instead of the noun just isn't as powerful. This may come down to personal style, but I first read this advice from Stephen King. So, if the God of Modern Horror says it, I tend to agree. Just kidding. I agree with him in truth.
Adverbs are often over used and adjectival clauses just flow better if you ask me.
2. Cliched Phrases
DO NOT, under ANY circumstances (except very special and rare situations), use the following phrases in your fiction:
"Cold as ice"
"Vast wilderness"
"Mad as a hatter"
"A rose by any other name..." *add vomit noise*
"Actions speak louder than words"
"Calm before the storm"
"March of time/history"
And any number of OVERUSED useless crap-phrases. If you've heard it so many times you are no longer certain of it's exact meaning, it's a safe bet you shouldn't use it. Also, if your parents ever repeated it to you many times, DO NOT USE IT. These phrases are boring, trite, and make me gag. They can be replaced so easily that when I see them I almost always stop reading. There are rare instances where such usages may be appropriate. I can't think of any other than maybe certain dialogue or a period novel where such phrases were commonplace. Still, even then, make up your own freaking metaphors people. It's just dull otherwise.
In my first novel, for example, when I wanted to describe something as funny instead of "it was funny as hell" or "it was a kick and a half" or some such nonsense I used:
"funnier than cold shit on a penguin's ass"
It's creative and it grabs the reader's attention (I think). Plus, my character is a punk so irreverent humor such as that fits well. It also has NOTHING to do with humor in and of itself. It's the context that counts here.
Oh, one more thing, if it ends with "as hell," "as all hell," or any variation thereof, just don't use it.
3. Please, please, please, please, PLEASE do not write about vampires. It's over. Come up with something new for SANITY'S SAKE! I was so tired of sparkly vampire bullshit romances I wrote a story about a chupacabra. That's a nocturnal monster that is almost NEVER written about.
Same goes for werewolves, zombies, and other over-used "creatures of the night." (Though I'm a bit more lenient on those ones.) Unless you have some MARVELOUS new spin on this stuff, it's been done and overdone and overdone for DECADES. PLEASE follow this rule. I mean, if you ignore EVERY other piece of writing advice you've EVER read HEED THIS ONE. It's been ridiculous for at least two years now.
One last caveat, if you just HAVE to write about vampires maybe try going back a couple centuries and sticking to Bram Stoker's model for them or similar. Even better, maybe do some research and actually READ myths and legends from Transylvania and other rural areas about these monsters. If I have to read one more short story or novel about day-walking hipster vampires I will literally choke on my morning toast. If it's dead and it sucks blood it better be something creative. This should be obvious but: if you do write something vampire-related DO NOT ask me to read it or review it. I will trash the hell out of it. You don't want that and I don't want that. I'm a nice person but I will claw your heart right out of your chest if you make me read about vampires (picture that scene in Temple of Doom where the cult dude goes uber Aztec and rips the heart out of the guy's chest with one bare hand).
4. Culture Counts People
If you're going to extend outside of the "write what you know rule" that's fine. However, do not write about a culture you know NOTHING about. It's best if you've at least visited the place. If that isn't possible then watch some videos of native people not intended for tourists' eyes. Read a book written by someone from that country. For crapsake at least check a Travel Guide or SOMETHING!
Japanese people do NOT say "O-genki desu ka" every time they bump into a friend, just as an off-the-top-of-my-head example. I had this from a native Japanese person here on business, so believe it. I say this because FanFiction about anime is very popular even now. If you do watch a lot of anime and in Japanese listen for that phrase. I can't recall a single time I've heard it used!
Same goes for all cultures, not just Japanese. If you want to write about some obscure Amazonian tribe with only ten surviving members more power to you! You'd better hope some dusty anthropologist has cataloged their culture and published it publicly though. I am not above fact-checking the fiction I read if it claims to be about an existing culture.
5. World Crafting
What I don't like to see is a world that feels as if I've been to it before in a fantasy or sci-fi novel. If your geography begins to seem mysteriously like Middle Earth (epic, world-ending volcano and all) then I probably won't like it. Make this YOUR world. Better yet, make it your CHARACTERS' world. This applies outside fantasy too.
One of the most insightful things anyone ever said to me about writing is this: "It's your novel, it's your characters' world." That stuck with me. So keep this in mind when you have your head in maps, linguistic charts, and the other ephemera of world-crafting. Your characters should fit into the world. It should feel as if they came OUT OF that world. Just as the phrase "I was born into the world" is complete and utter nonsense the same holds for a fictional universe.
Furthermore, it is OK to make a world in which the animals are the same as our animals. People can sometimes tend to go hog-wild coming up with substitutes for dogs, cats, and horses. If you read the bestselling fantasy authors' works (i.e. George R.R. Martin, Tolkien, and others) they generally avoid doing this. Sure, they may come up with some new spin to add, but horses are basically horses in most (good) fantasy novels/series I've read.
When it comes to mythical or supernatural creatures I have a bit of a different tack. These are your elves, dwarves, trolls, fairies, and such. With those kinds of guys I really like to see a return to more traditional interpretations. Tolkien did the whole tall, beautiful, elegant, and artistic elf thing and people have been copying that ever since. Why not go back to the little shoe-making miniature humans? Do something unexpected and actually research Nordic or Anglo-Saxon mythology and make your Giants into Frost, Fire, and other such Giants. Or, come up with an entirely new spin on these over-used species. If you can't come up with some new way of spinning something a general rule of thumb is to just take another approach altogether.
6. Consistency and Follow-through
These are two distinct features, but they go together.
Make sure, when you do your rewriting process(es), that your story or book is consistent. If you spell some word in a unique way stick to it. If somebody had a character trait and then it disappears a couple pages later that's an issue. Yes, characters should grow and change, but they don't do so without explanation. People don't just wake up one morning and say "I'm not going to be a crack addict anymore" after five years of heavy use. It's an extreme example, but it makes the point.
On the subject of follow-through. If you mention something at the beginning of your story use it again later! This is most applicable to character traits in books or longer short stories. When you say something interesting about a character's background or attitude and forget about it readers will notice. Either go back and reference the trait or what-have-you at least a couple times OR delete it. If it isn't important enough to bring up more than once it doesn't deserve to be in your story.
7. Be Ruthless in Your Rewrite
This takes guts.
The best approach is to let your story/novel "rest" a while before the rewrite. Our fiction can feel somewhat like our child when it's just finished. Set it in a drawer and forget about it for two weeks or so (a month for a full-length novel) then go back to it. You'll be much less attached in most cases. This is crucial to a good rewriting process. I'm not talking about proofreading here. I'm talking about when that minor character you adored writing about just has to go buh-bye.
This is kind of similar to follow-through in that: if it isn't worthy of being in your story at least twice it should be destroyed. Same thing goes for elements that do not affect the plot or a sub-plot in any way. Let me be clear, there will ALWAYS be some fluff to any story. Still, you should keep that to a minimum. If it isn't essential or almost essential to your story arc then chances are it can be disposed of without a twinge of guilt.
Rewriting can still be a painful process for a writer even after letting the story rest. We grow attached to our work. It's a part of us as part of us is present within the pages of ink. Sometimes a character, a whole scene, or even a chapter that you absolutely LOVED is dragging your pacing through the mud and must be eradicated.
So, be ruthless. You're a Creator of Worlds and a Conqueror of All Nations, act like one!
Oh, and get AT LEAST three sets of fresh and objective eyes on your work. Don't make your mommy read it as your only critic. Sometimes it's nice to hear her gush and fawn over what you've done, sure. The rewriting process should not be one of those times. You want people that can be as ruthless as you can be and, if possible, MORE ruthless. This should be started prior to your own rewrite begins. Best case scenario is you don't even look at your work again until those three people have given you their analyses. You never know how long someone will take to a) read your story and b) come up with constructive and meaningful criticisms and ideas. More important is this: if you miss something in your personal rewrite you'll be annoyed when someone points it out. Read their input as you go through and do your own cutting, slashing, and beefing up.
8. Don't Be a Sissy
People die. Disasters happen. Tragedy strikes when we least expect it. Your story (depending on genre, of course) should not shy away from these things in most cases. People LOVE trauma and drama. Martin's odyssey A Song of Ice and Fire wouldn't be 1/4 as popular if everyone just got along (not that you don't pray for that to happen JUST ONCE when you're reading the fucking thing). We, as human beings, EAT THAT SHIT UP. Characters dying, countries imploding on themselves, and epic wars that erase entire cultures are what people really like to see. Granted there are times this scale of disaster is inappropriate.
If you're writing a YA novel about a high school the disasters and tragedies are going be more trivial (to any intelligent adult, that is). The woes of dating during adolescence. The troubles girls go through getting their hair and makeup JUST SO every damn morning. Those kind of things. There's got to be SOME conflict somewhere. People tend to get sentimental when they're writing.
In one of my stories I knew from halfway through that my favorite main character (other than the narrator) would die at some point. It's one of those things that you just know intuitively. I didn't want to do it. I fought it, I resisted it, I kicked and screamed my way all the way to the last page. Guess what? She died. She just HAD to. I couldn't sleep knowing I'd chickened out and let her live.
Don't be a sissy!
This all might seem like a no-brainer but you'd be surprised how many fluff bunny lovefest stories I've come across.
9. "The first draft of anything is shit."
Ernest Hemingway once said that. It still rings true.
Your first draft will not be a bestseller. It probably won't even sell to your cousins across town.
This is something I picked up from trolling around the NaNoWriMo forums and reading "No Plot, No Problem." (If you're going to do NaNoWriMo and never have you should read that book. It's a road map through the madness.) Do not stop to edit while you are writing your first draft if you can at all help it. This is what drives novelists and other authors bonkers. This is, in my theory, why so many of them are alcoholics. Write, write, write, and don't look back until the story is done and given time to rest.
Don't expect so much of yourself. We are all human. We make errors in our rough drafts. Hell, I make errors getting out of bed sometimes! You aren't going to sell any of your rough drafts unless you're some kind of almighty God of writing. (The exception, of course, is contractual writing. If you've gotten that far you don't need to read this rule and probably don't need to read any of them.)
10. Be True To Yourself
Don't write something because someone else tells you you should. Don't write something because that genre or topic is selling well at that point in time. Don't do it. Trust me. Just don't succumb to this pressure.
If you do, it will come out forced and just plain awful. Write what you MUST write. Don't settle for stuff that other's say they MUST read or you MUST write. If I don't feel that I can't go a minute longer without writing a story or book I don't write it. That's how my ideas come though, you may be different. You might be more susceptible to this "popularity contest" sort of writing. Watch out for it. It can creep up on you before you realize it.
Exceptions are when someone simply points out that they think you could write a good story about "X, Y, and Z." If it's a suggestion and you're feeling it, by all means, go for it!
NOTE: This was originally written for a forum at fictionpress.com so if it reads funky that's probably why. Take this all with a grain of salt, too. The first real rule of fiction is that there are no real rules. These are more guidelines. (Cue Johnny Depp pirate accent.)
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